he accidentally used the toothbrush i use to induce my bulemia...i feel like this is something he shouldnt find out...
Tipsy and thinking of you. Talk tomorrow. My alliteration is awesome.
Stop introducing me to people as your little sister.
I don't think the lady gaga poster on your wall qualifies you as a brother.
Im holding a competition......who saw me last, and who knows how my nose got bruised? you earn points for answering either question. and for bringing me water.
The effect you have on my penis from a different state is impressive
bro, your right, i shouldn't feel embarrassed about taking shots from a penis-shaped ice sculpture
She looked up at the menu and yelled this is my absolute favorite literacy
Pretty sure I just puked up sand. And nothing else.
I feel you. We can get adjoining rooms. It'll be like Disney world, but with drugs and ivs instead of roller coasters and Mickey Mouse.
Which is way cooler
There really needs to be a redbox for wine because I want some but too lazy to walk into a store
Lol I screamed "GOT AN ORDER OF VERSACE TACOS UP" and the whole kitchen was just like who the fuck is this kid
I mean, you have to swipe right on someone you had sex with last week though, right?
You literally just told me you're ditching me because of pizza. PIZZA? Wow.
So hypothetically speaking.. say someone dropped their birth control pill in a hot bowl of soup, and it possibly disintegrated.. would it be just as useful?
Im playing a game I have to take a drink every time my gram asks me the same question hammered by 4 guaranteed
Randomize
