I enjoy that i have a whole shelf of clothes that I've accumulated from random sex. You know the ones you get to make the morning after look less awkward like similar to an athletes trophy shelf
Tonight must have been good, I have already had two cups of coffee but still couldn't figure out how to operate a door.
Just wanted to let you know that I always win at "whose ex is crazier" because of you.
I wanna tell red shirt guy I'm pregnant and use the abortion money for Coachella.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
does anyone know how to get red sharpie out of a white cat?
Dude i was hungover i didnt know she was in the shower, she screamed i screamed we all screamed and i just so happend to piss in the shower.
Its 6:30 and I'm shotguning a busch ice while taking a shit. Outlook for work today: interesting
im tired of her bring homeless men home when shes drunk. THEY ARE NOT FUCKING PETS!!!!
No, listening to the fray and drinking a bottle of jack daniels does not count as counseling
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I have a completly random but serious question. Can I make a paper mache mold of you ass and turn it into a pinata filled with airplane bottles of liquor? Its for my art class
Remember camping when you drank 36 beers to yourself in one day and puked in your tent? Ready for round 2?
This is kind of a weird question but were you the other girl Ben asked to do a group sex thing with?
He's been watching the World Cup too much because right before he came he screamed "NUT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!" for half a minute. Our landlord is not happy.
I don't know what's worse. The fact that my biological mother is an unwitting bigamist, or the fact that my half sister is trying to seduce my girlfriend.
I just fucked her boyfriend. Happy birthday, bitch.
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