Katie Perry lied, you can't just wake up and shake the glitter off your clothes.
is she serious with that outfit? Why doesnt she just paste a for sale sign on her boobs?
just stared at ed norton's ass for 26 miles. if there was ever an incentive to run a marathon, that was it. my life is perfect.
I just realized I used lady gaga lyrics in my research paper on marie antoinette
You were in the garage half naked counting your ribs and talking about how you had too many
Just saw your girl from last night... Be embarrassed
This is the first time I have ever hoped it's poison ivy on my cock
He just climbed off me and used my hairspray to fix his hair. If he hadn't just gone down on me I would think he's gay.
shes taking the breakup well, i walked in on her naked passed out wearing a turban with a bag of peanut butter choc chips in hand at 5 in the afternoon.
I want morning sex. We can incorporate maple syrup into it somehow, it'll be fun
we all thought you were asleep. he found you an hour later sitting outside in the snow lighting a bowl, singing the CatDog theme song, and hugging a box a Franzia.
After getting rejected by him, I got a strangely pleasant dick pic from an unknown number with the caption: "I hope this gets you through the night ;)" It's like the Cock-Gods were shining down upon me.
I don't suppose you have a recipe for a cocktail made of bitter resignation, regretting everything, poor life descisions and deep-seated self-loathing?
Bro I just got a hand job playing tiny wings.. Hell yea
While walking to class I was handed a red bull, condoms, and a mini bible. I love my school.
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