he just watched a baby story on tlc while high and just called me screaming he never wants me to get pregnant
then he said we can't have sex anymore because ill hate him.
he just fed my chickens on farmville...i guess that's his way of saying thanks for the sex<3
Real friends wouldn't let me shotgun a 4loko after already seeing me trying to eat a girl out through her jeans.
the only compliment i could think of for this chick was that she looked 'moderately attractive'
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he was banged his ex for coke the whole time and is still the best guy so far this year. standards need to be raised.
Just saw the guy with the plastic bag on his head riding his bike again...
no, she just came home, mumbled about being a gerbil out of water then ate half cooked chicken nuggets.. normal night
He came over drunk in a speedo i told him he has my vote he said who are you voting for when i said obama he took off running and shouting i was worthless like an empty beer can
I understand, but unless there is an intervention for me being planned, i DON NOT want to talk about my life choices
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And your boyfriend doesn't mind you constantly taking pictures of his dick just to freak out your brother?
its more like he's accepted that he can't stop me
I'm high. The text bubbles floating do no justice to the underwater experiences
So how does one go about leaving their family vacation to hang out with someone they met on tinder
My inner 10 year old alcoholic is intrigued.
can we fuck so we can live up to our nicknames for eachother?
Feel free to drag me back to reality at your convenience
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