After we had sex, she played this little piggy with my toes
i just watched a video of two girls fucking with a banana and i thought of you.
i hate you
Dude you just tried to have a one night stand with my ex girlfriend while we were trying to put you to bed upstairs.
but that still doesn't explain how i woke up on the couch down stairs.
I had a dream last night, there was a gumball machine that was filled with Oxycontin. I would try to get some but got vitamins instead. I was so frustrated!! woke up angry.
its like she was born with a silver dick in her mouth
Well there's nothing more unattractive them a naked, soft man crying
Oh good your over him
Just made out with a girl I dated in high school, and she told me her girlfriend likes me. I like where this is going.
I vaguely remember hanging my bra off the ceiling fan and chugging a beer during sex
College has turned you into quite the multi tasker huh?
I need an adult. someone more adult than my current state
I hate vagina strikes, but I must not stray from my path. My boyfriend will know the true meaning of blue balls.
You were drinking whiskey from a beer bottle i dont know what you really expected...
Like when I see him I look straight through his appearance and just envision a big walking penis.
She told me I was absolutely not allowed to sleep with him even though she knows I'm a rule breaker who loves a good challenge.
He's talking about feelings now. I don't even know if he came???
I found a loose wire in my thermostat. Couldn't find the pliers, so I used a nipple clamp to fix it.
Randomize
