she was hot for a redneck and i dont look at teeth
Sometimes your consistent use of proper punctuation makes me nervous D:
today is the best snowday of my entire life. also its no shirt day.
he was shitfaced drunk and couldn't walk but could still recite the top 10 in order from the first season of american idol. impressive
The milf did the body paint, come to the bar
I think I hit my head on every surface in that apartment last night
Getting haircut. The stylist asked about the body paint dried in my hair. I told her there was prob glitter, too. It was a fun night!
....she made me stop for like 3 minutes so she could talk to her cat....
I just let my boss bend me over his desk and spank me. I think that is some sort of American dream.
I bet I give better head than any other PTA mom.
I'm not wearing pants, but I'm wearing a tiara.
stupid neighbors doing stupid yard work with their stupid kids when i want to do drugs in the backyard
you were so drunk that when the mouse on your laptop didnt work anymore you decided to just take it into the bathroom and pee on it while laughing like a mad scientist.
I used to shoot steroids in my ass but for a totally different reason
shes rolling around in the floor yelling my vagina hates me
Randomize
