if there is a rhyme for it it must be true
so I smoked with the leasing agent of the apartment complex. Of corse I am going to take this one
I dk what to do with this kid he is like legitimately interested in my life.
This kid is drunk.
I hope by "this kid" you mean yourself and not some child you have kidnapped and gotten wasted.
how are you not completely traumatized after 8 years of friendship with me?
Still can't decide which I'm more disappointed about: the blow job I gave him or the donuts I ate after.
I hope the dean has a raincoat on because I'm prolly gonna throw up on him when I get my degree
It's a bathroom floor kind of morning.
This is final. The chair stays in the bathroom, we are too old to be puking from the floor, grown ups sit in chairs infront of the toilet to puke.
Or grown ups don't drink themselves into vomiting.
his brother walked in while we were fucking on the couch, told me i had "lovely jugs" and offered to make both of us a drink
You just get me....like our souls are boning in the spirit world
my roommate would be appalled if she knew how many times i've peed in the kitchen sink
I was randomly pulled aside to have my bag checked. It had 50 condoms in it.
We fucked like animals on that lion king beanbag chair that your mom got you for your 10th bday
Just got drunk at the Cheesecake Factory again. Made me think of you.
That's the nicest thing anyone's ever said to me.
Randomize
