Bc you can definitely buy condoms if ur a 14 year old girl
i just made an omelette with the cheese and ham from a lunchables. and ketchup packets
julia child would be proud.
Just wanted to remind you that you literally cut the underwear off a man.
she has her graduation year in her skype name, it's like a constant reminder that she's jail bait.
I'd say I'd distract him, but I lose my psychic powers when guys get girlfriends. And by psychic powers I mean taking off my top.
Idk tell her to wear something sluttty. I have that one skirt I got arrested in if she wants to borrow?
You tried tipping the cashier at Cook Out by shoving a dollar bill down his shirt and yelling "Magic Mike"
The packers need to win more often, Andrew keeps drunk calling me and confessing his undying love for me in between puking and taking more shots.
The lady at walmart just said she is so happy im still alive....Was i that drunk on the 4th? Dont answer that
Then again, he has huge mansions.
*manboobs.
What's an appropriate outfit for wearing to hangout with a girl you've talked to once, and had a 4way with?
I think my body knows it's dying and is just shutting down
I'll call you on my way home
Oh my god I'm going to die between now and then... can you at least tell me if y'all hooked up???
Shut up. I hate you. We're doing shots tomorrow. Fuck the consequences.
When I went to pick up Adam from the train station, I found him passed out, covered in gold paint and wrapped in a red blanket. someone had glued a gaudy green rhinestone to his forehead. He looked homeless.
Randomize
