Is it cum slut, cumslut or cum-slut? Sexting, plz advise ASAP
Oh my gosh they are following me around the bar
Blow your rape whistle
she's drunk at 2 in the afternoon again. at least my mother is predictable.
Babies are disgusting. I held one once. Then I washed my hands and rinsed my mouth out with wine.
I had a 10 minute conversation with the refrigerator, it was telling me how it likes to be opened and closed. Ecstasy, I love you.
He told me his cum shot melted the paint on his bedroom wall and asked if I want to see it
If its possible to have a hickey on your nipple, I have one. Thank you.
Operation terrify all men while simultaneously make them fall in love with me is going quite swimmingly so far
You reeked of guilt and shame and we offered you pancakes
Overall a good night - broke my toe giving that cop a blowjob though...so there's that...
Sleeping with him wouldn't be considered hoeing out... It seems more like babysitting.
Showed up to the airport to find my fuck buddy is on the same flight. Do you think he'd be intertested in the mile high club?
I never thought my gollum impression would lead to me getting laid.
Huzzah!
you know you're doing something right when your drug dealer insists on hugging you before you leave.
I hope you know, that by sending me a cat meme back, you've entered in a cat picture battle; which never has an end in sight.
The duel has begun.
Randomize
