Id settle for living inside the pirates of the carribean ride.
I'm pretty sure I'm almost gay. Like, I'd do it if I had no choice. Like, if i were in prison I'd try it.
: am i supposed to send the mass text 'merry christmas!' to my booty calls too?
is it bad that listening to the rabbi's wife talk about how we should only be with one person is making me really, really horny for no string attached sex
She made me role-play everything from an older prof to a in-patient in need of a medical exam. Yay for cocaine.
It is very possible that having sex with you just now just got me into Yale
did you just take a shot to penises and friendship?
Pounded a bottle of Moscato in my underwear while watching Pretty Little Liars...am I really gonna be 30 next year?
Omg that was my second thought of the morning.
First was that we had pop tarts.
So I've been in more fights on one leg than I've had on two.
tried to suck my ex boyfriends dick last night at a bar... Happy homecoming from me to you
As he put it in he shouted "geronimo!"
Wow... So was the sex good?
Yeah but it doesn't matter. My vagina is not a pool.
She was talking about how a garden gnome was hitting on her the whole night. We thought she was just that high, but turned out the gnome was that guy in the weird hat.
It's like every time I'm baked I discover my fingers all over again.
My books smell like weed. What does that tell you about my college experience?
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