the pool opens at 11. by 1115 the ambulance had been called.
We got a party bus for the nite. I found out the hard way why stripper poles are meant for girls.
I would describe it as pure and unadulterated shock, mixed with horror and a touch of nausea.
The guy is drinking 5 bottles of beer in a juice pitcher. Fucking amazing.
I don't think he knows what shame means anymore. He gave some bar slut his sisters Tiffanys necklace, in exchange for anal.
I said to him "i can't have sex with anyone in my friend's living room" then he said "we can move the air mattress into the kitchen"
I would love a rich wife. Then I would be like a gym teacher or some shit. Bigfoot hunter maybe.
Yeah, you gave me a condom that I 100% coulda used, then an hour later you basically beat the shit out of me and physically took it from my pocket.
I feel so nauseous and all I want is string cheese. My life never makes sense.
I've counted 3,503 loops of fabric on my carpet so far. FUCK YOU ACID!!!
I don't think I've ever met a guy with a bush bad enough that I would choose a cactus over it.
Can I just say how funny it is that your "respect" tattoo is right above the bruise from me slapping your ass
I think he fucked my hip out of place.
I'm classy like audry Hepburn. Chugging wine out of the bottle on the way to the club. Shed do that. I know she would.
Is it acceptable to respond to a declaration of love with 'and I love your dick'? Asking for a friend who shares a name and possibly a phone number with me. Entirely coincidental.
Randomize
