Jeremys mom is here. I gave her mad jello shots and now were griding. ima give it to her: ultimate payback for him fucking my gf.
You kept buying everyone Washington apple shots, and telling us we needed to support local produce.
Just found my car keys in your throw-up.
Vodka + horseback riding = vomit in the saddle bags
Its kinda awkward hearing him say the food taste like ass considering what he did last night.
2 showers later and I'm still finding cum on random body parts of mine
The new google images is a smorgasbord of porn now are plans for tonight are off.
you literally pushed me forward in the seat so you could puke behind my back without the cabbie noticing..
When did it seem like a good idea to do pull ups off the balcony? After beer 5 or shot 7?
But she tried her best to break my penis, so she has a few free passes with me
I think I'm interested in anyone that recognizes I actually have a pulse
Sorry bud. Having a shitty day because the GF broke up with my wife and I. We really liked her too
And, omg, my eyelids are on fire. I think the internet let me down. :(
I have one goal now that I am in the USA. To find a man I can fuck into marriage before my visa runs out.
Left my house last night with a girlfriend, $200 in my wallet, and 10 finger nails. Came home with no girlfriend, an empty wallet, and 9 1/2 finger nails.
Yea, I had a bad night too aha
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