I pooped in a mop bucket.
WTF???
Their employee restroom was locked what kind of customer service is that
I bet they all look and smell like Amy Winehouse
and he thought i came like four times in 2 mins. my leg just kept cramping up
I fucked him in a hamburger. literally. he has a hamburger bed.
Im drunk and they're making me play quiet game. Im scared. Baptists are here
Things got a little weird when he fired up his homemade flamethrower in the living room.
you were crying and trying to give advice to people.. that's was a new level of drunk for you
I am three bowls, two beers, and a muscle relaxer into babysitting. What are you doing.
we tried to steal a tractor last night. you should have come out.
Some guy thought i was the waitress and handed me his credit card. drinks on me.
Stop sending me pictures of you naked. This violates the friend zone agreement.
I'm high. The text bubbles floating do no justice to the underwater experiences
Is it against health code to come into work half drunk and commando?
Matched with the lumberjack. Here's your wedding invite.
The only words we could get out of him as he stared catatonically into space were "Everyone I know and love is dead"
Randomize
