"I want to just tie you up so you\'ll still be here like this when I get home." Actual words.
We just picked up about 540 lbs of women....
no, its his 'welcome back from rehab' party.
still doesn't change the fact you were dunking your sock in the toilet.
She's been divorced three times and use to raise cock fighters. Of course I'm interested in her
Just had to throw up on the floor of my car during traffic on the way to work. Car next to me saw both times. Found the downside to having a job right after graduation.
I'm going to go out on a limb and say last night was a success, also the neighbors are counting down the days until we move out.
There's a bag in my room with garbage, a thong, fritos, and an electrical cord. I'm assuming it's yours
........yyyyyyeah that's me
So last night I taught an old homeless dude to respond to "Blue" so I could shout your my boy Blue at the party
Went home with a dude from UF last night. Just dripped chicken onto my phone and then licked it off. Going to pick up a bridesmaid dress. Mid 20s in a nutshell.
Just got a snapchat from him that was a video of with the caption "my new apartment" in Brazil. I think we might not be seeing eachother anymore.
when I was walking home I wad so excited to see a cat on the sidewalk but it was really a traffic cone
Note to self: never fuck a Canadian, surprisingly highly disappointing
I don't know how I got home but I'm pretty sure the guy in my closet had something to do with it
Replacing my paralegal is easy. Replacing my favorite office fuck toy is a totally different story. Damn him for wanting to better himself instead of being my manwhore
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