Nice. Sry i missed. Also sorry that i pissed on my toothbrush last nite
Sink seemed easy target but balance was no good
But, the reference to being horny and then blending a banana is troubling
May or may not have just drunkenly opened my christmas presents. Greatly disappointed. Might break up sooner.
There's a lady carrying her kids toy animals in a crown royal bag. Mom of the year.
I just found her phone in the quesadilla maker...
I'm ashamed of you 12 hours later and 200 miles away
I would rather deep fry my own cock while it's still attached to me than have his life.
Kyle's mobile fuck service..... Kinda has a nice ring to it don't you think??
Just gave candy to a strange child. Not my best move.
No feeling is better than coming home from your booty call and putting on a fresh pair of granny panties
MY HAND WILL BE UP HIS ASS IF HE DOES NOT APOLOGIZE FOR WHAT HE DID. IT WON'T BE THE GOOD-FEELING KIND OF "HAND-UP-ASS" EITHER.
There’s nothing that says motivation more than watching these little geniuses on Kids Baking Championship New Year’s Day. I’m ready to fuck shit up this year.
I mean we all knew i was gonna get arrested eventually but shoplifting is lame so dont tell anyone. Well just let them assume public nudity or something
Woke up with a $100 bill from the Philippines in my bra & an unopened box of sour patch kids next to me. I have some questions.
I'm still very high. To be blunt. No pun intended.
Randomize
