I'm not a mortal combat character
but my vagina is
whoever created level 16 on brickbreaker is a dick
My vagina is scared and excited at the same time. It might not be able to sleep tonight.
im pretty sure the clearest way to say "dont worry, im not emotionally attached" was by sleeping with his roommate the next night
We should invent fake asshair for you to wear so you can experience my pain for a day.
I would call you but I don't feel like these hands belong to me.
You know how I know she's ugly? 97% of her profile pics are flowers or animals. And what do we know about pretty people and the Internet?
Had a turkey baster with clean pee in it in my pants to pass a drug test, and the bottom fell off, so yeah I'm pretty pissed.
I hate vagina strikes, but I must not stray from my path. My boyfriend will know the true meaning of blue balls.
Its official... I need to stop being so slutty.. the guy I had sex with on friday delivered my jimmy johns tonight.
If so I'm coming over there. There's no way I'm having "hello, how are you" conversations with my neighbors on acid
Sometimes a man just deserves to get woken up with a blowjob.
You ate my ass why wouldn't I remember you
we went book shopping, so yes this relationship is going to be about more than sex
he offered to let me fuck his brother , of course im marrying him
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