My boss' voice literally gives me gas
She was so high she ate a little piece of weed off her pants and thought it was food.
I'm so hungover, I actually considered rolling down the stairs to avoid walking.
no.. I went home. Puking up hot dogs and lemon tart isn't as lovely as it sounds.
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I have shoes on. No pants. And my jacket pockets are full of ketchup and grass. Yes. Good night.
Tomorrow night wont work for me. I'm talking with Bryan about marriage and I dont want to have a shroom hangover.
Discovered a freckle on my clitoris. What have you done today?
Sooo Zach and Judd are on my porch drunk eating leaves and flowers...
The cops just came to this party I'm at and ate all of our snacks
Dude just crushed our bbq lays and told us to quiet down
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I have the best idea for a new business. It's going to be called "Lamb-Scape". We are going to cut lawns using lambs. You just put 5 or 6 on a lawn and they eat the grass #allnatural
YOU SAID YOU WERE OUT OF POT
..........
It's times when I'm naked but also want to be platonically social that I miss you the most.
We just had sex on an abandoned logging road while wearing snow shoes. God bless Montana boys.
Our sex is like an episode of "The Simpsons." Picture Homer choking Bart, and that's pretty much what we're into.
sober me doesnt really want him anymore, but when drunk me takes over, she might want him, and god only knows the shit that might happen with drunk me.
I feel like the physical embodiment of the pot leaf eyes smiley face
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