Just saw truck nuts on a handicap conversion van
when i got to my bed there was a handwritten note that said "wash the sheets." sleeping on the couch.
hey can i play with your boom stick tonite? I'll let you shoot the love of jesus in my face.
come over
I just saw the pics of me from the costume party as Party Boy. I've effectively cock-blocked myself forever.
I'm more concerned as to why he has a playlist entitled Dem Club Beats.
just fed a duck at the lake a weed brownie. it hasnt moved in 20 minutes.
I want to apologize but I don't know how. Do I just say "sorry for OD'ing on your couch"? I think that just sounds weird.
I'm serious. My alarm label is "BAR TABS" as motivation for me to wake up in the morning and go to work.
I just want to have sex and eat oreos. and then take body shots. like everyday.
Hide in the closet. if you hear me yell patato salad come out swinging.
After the party last night, I dreamt I continued drinking... Apparently my subconscious didn't think I'd had enough...
That was the night, like, my hair caught on fire...
Apparently last night I yelled "the cops were called on a mother fucker and that mother fucker is me." And then proceeded to exorcise a sandwitch.
Just for future reference. Do not do zumba while stoned out of your mind.
He dropped some cash when he got in my front seat upside down. And a hat. I'm keeping them as retribution for not remembering that he had sex with me once before. Although, if he didn't have his dick pierced, I wouldn't have remembered either.
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