i'm only drinking out of pineapples from now on.
sometimes i wonder what i would do without sheltered catholic girls w/ overprotective parents
never have sex?
I forgot how ruthlessly advertising works on me when I'm high.
If you liked it then you shoulda put your dick in it, oh uh uh oh
I got a Cease & Desist email from NBC for downloading Bruno. I am not going down for gay porn.
He just walked in our room casually and said "big girls are hungry"
Apparently I promised a worker at La Siesta free English lessons to make up for vomming all over the little Mariachi band.
gross. I think i'll just donate all my eggs. My children will be incredible, but they're not welcome in my womb
I also would have accepted most things ending in "job", erotic favors, and food.
his dick makes me think maybe a monogamous relationship forever is possible.
He came so hard he burst a blood vessel in his eye. Do I have to take him to the ER? because I'm too tired for this shit.
Your little brother is asking me for an "expert opinion" on his dick size.
Getting my nails done with Diana... I'm going for the keep your friends close and the girl who's dating the guy you want to fuck closer
You know what's even more awkward then buying plan b from someone who is a member at the gym you work at... When they come in after that day and have that look of recognition
We just started our own DARE program: Drugs are really enjoyable.
Randomize
