My wife caught me jerking off, I had to tell her I was thinking bout her
the boobs are fake... i feel like i just found out santa isn't real.
just brushed my teeth with a bottle of jack. ew. not all it's hyped up to be.
Sitting next to a girl in the computer cluster who just googled syphilis symtoms, started crying & got up and left. My life suddenly seems better.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Either way, he made a blog for his cat.
Vodka shot parachutes
Fucking utilizing a thrid story dorm room
Sorry I never got back to you, I ended up at a party with pot ice cream, pot apple cider, and hash vegetable oil.
You need to tell him your pregnant or we need to stop playing doubles beer-pong. My liver is begging you.
You called me and said "Aidan's unconscious" to which he said "I'm conscious, I'm conscious pilot"
He was filled with the holy spirit. And vodka.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My sugar daddy is a bigger asshole than i am. What's wrong here?
Should I go sleeveless of strapless?
Hmmm, it doesn't matter. You're gonna be topless by the end of it.
the guy I've been trying to get with saw my brother's genitals before he saw mine, so that's my life.
My hot gay tattoo artist grew a beard and I'm not taking it well.
I woke up on a park bench with a nice homeless guy waking me up. I bought us Carl's Jr. Best birthday ever!
What is the best medium with which to say, "Happy Birthday, I'm having your abortion"... Cake? Card?
Randomize