It's a shame that I don't know his last name. Actually, it's an ever bigger shame that I don't know his first name
You know who really doesn't like surpise in-your-face air guitar solos? Strangers.
he's wearing our apron and eating a pb and oreo sandwich. and calling the oreos "topless" since he took their tops off...
i get of class at 4. it takes me 17 minutes to walk home and 3 to load a bowl. thank you, priority registration.
Woke up laying in the kitchen floor with a cup in one hand and the beer tap in the other. Guess I just needed that one last beer.
my mom was in labor with me for 32 hours, it's only fair to start drinking now.
I just helped a group of highschool stoners find a safe place to smoke I feel like a responsible rolemodel
begin the sex magic rocket ship countdown
I kept calling him escargot instead of Estaban..I don't think that was the wisest choice.
Um...It has come to my attention that I may have said some rather vulgar things about Sean Connery to you and anyone listening last night, so...I apologize for that. I meant the things I said. But still. Sorry.
Last night I was just holding this kitten up to my face for like ten minutes telling it that it couldn't be real
Every time you talk about your facial hair I immedately get horny
Just laying in bed with my vibrator eating cold tortillas and listening to Savage Garden.
Nothing makes me prouder to be liberal and socialist than the idea of desecrating the memory of Ronald Reagan
Apparently last night I was doing back bends for the guy making my easy mac because clearly it wasn't easy enough for me.
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