he started yelling "this is my pussy" mid thrust
Guys who wear capris make me want to kill endangered species.
Weird shit dude, I just realized that the girl I fucked last night looks like Shaun White's twin sister. I dunno if I should be scared or turned on
I hope her Double McTwist was as good as his
It's like my work doesn't even care about margarita mondays.
I just did my online traffic school at the bar. No biggie.
Its name is Richard. And I think he formally introduced us.
i just was bootyclappin in front of homeless men in a back alley
Got in a bar fight defending Prince. Thought you ought to know. He gets his dick sucked cooking eggs for breakfast.
We found her on a strangers doorstep chanting "I know someone will let me in" it took 2 of us to drag her to the car.
I think my body is literally trying to get me to reproduce. "fuck someone! Anyone!" - my body
I watched you down those shots like a lion cub watching its mother rip apart a gazelle
I'll tell you that it involved a pair of pliers and a trip to the ER.
I demand a full explanation right now.
Omg she's a human wrecking ball. I love it.
I am to reach this level of casual destruction.
YOU WILL GIVE ME MASHED POTATOES OR I WILL RIP YOUR SOUL INTO 7 PIECES AND YOU WILL TURN INTO LORD VOLDEMORT
I found half a candy bar in my bra today... Melted to my nipple. What a mess. It was still good though.
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