well, if it gives you any insight into how crazy it was, i am currently wikipediaing "anullment"
she just took a shower. i'll probs go down on her to encourage shower taking. it's like pavlov, you know?
I just found $40 in the jeans I wore last night. PS I also found the jeans I wore last night.
She paints her nails the color of the sheets of the last guy she slept with
I had some like war flashbacks of giving someone a handjob and i was trying to figure out who it was.
I've only left my bed to pee and eat nutella out of the jar with my fingers
Just to an Octoberfest and a sex party. Nothing wild.
My CPA just snapchatted me a picture of her playing beer pong at a picnic. Time to do my own taxes?
Do you congratulate someone for having bigger tits, or is that a no no?
But I am still fully ok with my life choices as long as the consequences aren't onesies and pacifiers
You know it's a good night when the word slut is imprinted on your ass and your hands smell like lube.
I danced my ass off after the funeral last night. Kept dropping it low and I can feel it in my legs today. Im like shit I needa go work out
What a way to honor the dead
My last memory of last night was being in a laundry room doing blow and admiring a washer and dryer... I think that's the earmark of old age
Yeah. I fucked her boyfriend, she knows, and she still wants to keep dating him. That's love.
You just thought it would be a good idea to show your penis to your best friend. No harm, no foul.
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