I judge my drunkenness on my brickbreaker playing skills. I'm winning. Suck it.
i wanna anger bang this girl behind me at work. she never shuts up with her annoying voice. but her boobs are phenom.
Wasn't a date. In exchange for artichoke dip I received a bj. And sex. It was a transaction.
he has a puerto rico area code and says his name is johnny cash. extremely suspect
Sorry we're taking so long, this weed cake tastes amazing with Tabasco sauce on it.
Its a "sake bomb in the bathroom during class" kind of day.
I think he was trying to tie my clitoris in a knot with his tongue. So awful.
Walking in on a gay threesome, with a girl in the corner watching and taking vid is a reason to not only knock, but to never go to Savannah.
Moonshine marathon is never a good idea
Post breakup Disney World may be my best idea ever! Tinkerbell just grabbed my dick and gave me a kiss! This really is the happiest place on earth!
I can't wait to get home and brush the fuck outta my teeth.
Literally.
So baked. About to eat a calzone then hate fuck this guy.
THAT'S MY GIRL
The fact that I made out with a twenty one year old father is kind of worrying me now. Like. This is exactly what I wasn't supposed to do in life.
You reached new levels of laziness. After we woke you up to take shots with us, you stayed in bed so you didn't have to move when you were drunk and sleepy
I have only been here for a week and might contributed to a dumpster fire on accident.
Randomize
