On a scale of 1 to 10 how hot is the girl you're about to fuck?
Strong 6
That's an oxymoron.
the dude from the bar called to tell his mom about me immediately after we finished PLEASE COME GET ME
so why are there three stressed gay men and a bowl of vomit in the smoke room?
he's dressed up as pikachu 3 fucking years in a row and gotten laid each time. i don't understand
Trying to figure out which chair my head was under last night
2000 dollars has been put in for bail money. Also we're signing contracts
Yo I found your batman costume.... It was in my pool with a shitload of beer cans
The length of my leg hair is a constant reminder of how long it's been since I even thought I had a chance of getting laid.
girl pulled up to the stop sign, got out, threw up all over my hood said happy thanksgiving then drove off
And thank god for autocorrect cuz I can't even think in English let alone spell in it right now.
Why were u walkin around mc with a toilet bowl lid handcuffed to u and carrying a stuffed Teddy bear last night?
Well the good news of being walked in on, my mom says your tits are pretty. Then she added that hers were like that once. Fml
I just spent 100$ at a sex shop to make myself feel better. And I signed you up to win 200$ so if you win, it's mine. And yes I'm serious.
Having random cyber sex while watching to catch a predator just seems wrong.
I prefer to think of hangovers as extreme sobriety, which can only be cured by more booze
Randomize
