I got so high last night I started crying because i couldn't stop thinking about how scary space is
Oprah is sooooo fat. I can't even concentrate on Mackenzie Phillips talking about banging her dad
He has been begging me for a Bj but doesnt want to get mono
How is he gunna get mono? is he gunna suck on his dick after you?
Just used my last prints at the library for brackets instead of final reviews. Hello March.
I don't understand how anyone could look at him and think, 'Yeah, that's a good idea.'
Best part of having a window in your office is that you can leave through it when you shit your pants at work.
Someone touched my vagina when we were out last night. The fact that it was you is inconsequential and I am still counting it as a pull.
I went in to wake you up this morning and you had a condom draped across your throat like a necklace. There were no boys in the house last night, what were you doing?
Everything was cool until I tried to photo bomb those Hells Angels, then it's all a blank
one renamed every person in my phone 'I lpvw tewqils', so it would really help me out if you could text me your name. Happy sunday!
This question may sound intrusive, but how did pushing out a baby affect your vagina?
he literally referred to his penis as the alaskan bull worm from spongebob. when can we get married
My 12 o'clock class is an all star team of my ex's hook ups
I'm the only person who goes to break up a friends with benefits and comes out with a boyfriend
Thank god I work in a lab. This pinkeye is out of control and my safety glasses are the only thing stopping me from digging at my eye with a pen
Randomize
