I tried making the sex a little better this time so right before I blew I yelled "ready or not here I come!"
I tried to explain to him that we just wanted a stereotypical black friend to be in our group. He didn't take it too well... Never take me to the bar again.
My natural self cock block skills kicked in last night. I could've got on like 2 chicks but i ended up throwing up all over my van instead.
I might never shower again without beer.. I might also always drink naked
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Say something like you want him to fuck you behind a McDonald's. Guys secretly love weird shit like that.
I was in the freezer we were knocking over shit. Speaking of which i asked my boss. I can hook up with girls in the freezer
Yeah just sayin. Whenever you want to come over and wank me off you can
They made the rule if I caught the ball with my cleavage they would drink the entire beer pong table. I don't think they expected me to actually do it.
They make twin pack pregnancy tests for girls like us
NOLA update. Went to Corey Smith at the house of blues last night. Drank PBR and took lots of shots of Jack. Too drunk, cabbed it to the hotel and fell asleep while having sex. Not my finest moment. Now I'm in court. I can't wait to be your attorney.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I thought my broken hand would put a damper on Halloween, but fake costume eyelashes and hydrocodone are kinda fun at the same time.
If he can't cook well I'm just gonna buy a RealDoll and twenty cats and live my own fucking life
I'm glad I can share my workout progress with you via my nudes
THEN YOU WILL NOT GET TO SEE MY TITS TONIGHT OR IN THE NEAR FUTURE YOU HEARTLESS BASTARD
You challenged a dog groomer that she couldn't cut human hair ... How's the shaved head
Nice classy night out before we roll our faces off
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