She has HUUUUUUUGE nipples
you'd think with how big her nose is she'd have a better smelling pussy..
High enough to fry lime slices.....tasted like shit, by the way
You were so high you insisted on spoon feeding me your KFC bowl while I was driving.
Was who let the dogs out playing?
Ya. You started barking when it ended
He said bow chicka bow wow. I never thought being sexually degraded would be such a turn on.
I've actually, minus lsat night have actually changed my drinking habits
You need to come back and help me drink our beer so the fridge has room for the other beers
Just got my stitches out.. Now I can give a proper hand job
You were too drunk yesterday to deal with me crying so I am too drunk to deal with logic.
it's ok my mom asked me why i had a guys shirt on and also why there was chocolate all over my bra
SEX BINGO!
Canadian or clown?
would it be uncouth to smoke a joint during office hours
This is why you're my favorite TA
Getting dome in the backseat of a friends car with Ariana Grande playing in the background was probably the most romantic part of my night
No I did a yoga dvd and hit my ex up via email for some pot in exchange for his mail.
I just checked and if you bring a picture of your ex they will shred it and give you a free 'hater shot'. Would it be too much to print off one of their wedding pictures and bring it?
I really love that you're not going the 'why am I not married and having a kid yet?' route, but rather 'thank god I dodged that bullet'
Randomize
