If I go to jail what happens to my debt?
You dont have to pay it.
I'm going to jail.
cutting back on calories before spring break by only taking shots instead of drinking actual drinks.
the diet of an alcoholic...
i don't even want to say how many boners i've caused this week
Of course, I believed he would find me irrestible...sloppy drunk, chugging from a bottle of chardonnay, and completely naked because those kids stole my clothes as I was swimming on their private beach
he told me it was like eating gods vagina.
They should make a traveling bouncer service to remove unwanted people from your house without getting the cops involved. That sums up my Friday.
He came over hammered at four in the morning with roses trying to get me back when my new fling opened the door he just stood there crying for 40mins even after we closed the door
You can't just walk around stealing hats from drunk boys and peeing in bathtubs. Turn down.
AND I JUST BURNT MY BACON. WTF MONDAY. SCREW YOU TOO
I'm going to three dry weddings this month. I'm flashing three dry weddings this month
I swear, the guy behind me wasn't paying attention until the words "middle aged fuckboy" came out of my mouth.
Do me a favor and scream dirty things at him in a polite sexy, come hither way
Is it totally acceptable to fuck a co-worker even though we don't speak the same language?
Why do you even have to ask me that question
how the FUCK did i spend 25 dollars at 50 cent beer night?
I am in the parking lot of CVS in Auburn. I think a truck full of Plan B and regret just arrived.
Randomize
