at a bonfire and someone threw a plastic cup in the fire. everyone immediately stopped what they were doing to yell collectively at him about what he was doing to the environment, then went back to drinking
only in oregon
you were making out, puked over his shoulder and insisted everything was okay
I just woke up to find the whole kitchen sick had been converted into a gravity bong.
Lots of rum and cokes. Bartender wore my underwear on his head. Lost my keys. Accidentily started a fight. DC is going to kill me
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm still drunk. it's summer. I just need a hot dog and an aspirin.
My dick was almost in plain McDonald's sight
You rode your bike four miles to my house. Yelled "I'm so high!" Then crashed into his car. It's a problem.
He has blue eyes of sex and i am powerless against them
Doesn't tell me where my computer chair went but good to know
When you're not at your house I assumed you're somewhere having sex
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Shroomed with my best friend'a dad at his wife's surprise birthday party so you can say I have experience in the field
I was really hoping my 420 would involve a lot more weed and a lot less buttholes
She's trying to change her flight... IM BEING COCKBLOCKED BY DELTA CUSTOMER SERVICE
I looked into this "it's just lunch" matchmaker thing and it was like 5 grand. If I'm gonna spend five grand I'll throw in another three and get new tits and find my own fucking husband.
Fun fact. A penis can be used to catapult cheetos.
New rock bottom. Woke up at 7 am fully clothed in a bathtub full of water. I hate myself.
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