Hello, balls-out mistake. It's been a while.
For some reason, Oliver from Hannah Montana reminds me of pudding.
That's cute.
The Rock is playing the tooth fairy. I can't believe I used to smell what that man was cooking
I drank mimosas and played bocce ball in the middle of finals week...now i know how Comm majors feel all the time.
it would be nice to just get drunk, not hook up with anyone, and not die this weekend
Tried to eat a sandwich this morning. Couldn't. My jaw is locked up. These marathon blow jobs are killing me
I was dressed in monkey onesie serving people vodka jelly with a spoon...
I clipped one of my extensions in his hair to give him a rat tail. What is my life?
So our annual Dick Trip has been tentatively scheduled for the week of July 1 - 5. This years theme is "Fucking for Freedom".
dude, my hangover is telling me there was tequila involved
Still stoned. I like your bong. It can stay. No others, though.
I just shaved my pubes into a heart shape. if that doesn't scream romantic idk what does
What's worse having drunken sex with hot married man or breaking the diet one week in?
That was my first party and they were so suprised that this little freshman girl was a FUCKING BEER PONG QUEEN.
Just passed a girl holding a jar filled with what appeared to be diarrhea
Randomize
