a woman just threw her tv out the window while screaming "will you fucking work now?". i'm never moving
it wouldnt have been so bad but she still had the cowboy hat on when my mom walked in
Dating my ex's drug dealer.. best. revenge. ever.
i would rather give Shaq a handjob than take this accounting final
successfully started a charcoal grill with 2 shots of everclear and some aluminum foil. i never wanna leave here
Watching dad use Doritos to illustrate exactly where to locate the clitoris. How's your family christmas going?
It wouldn't have been a big thing. If anything, I woulda apologized to you and cleaned the remote
his roommates said i can move in if i promise to only drink tequila the rest of the semester. challenge accepted.
she vomitted in her champagne, said "fuck it, it's new years", and continued drinking.
So I'm sitting at my desk and Thunderstruck came on my iPod. I then proceeded to drink coffee every time I heard thunderstruck. Who says you don't remember anything from college?
I'll just save you what dignity you have left by letting what happened die with your lack of memory and/or liver.
And apparently I was the one that started the drunken make out session that broke the window
painting my nails while super high-drunk. Ended up painting my entire hands. Both.
ok now I feel liek a very drunk human instead of a chaos being thanks water
Got her pregnant in a minivan. Circle of life.
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