I'm not ready for the Pike bikes to move back in to town it was wonderful seeing that sorority house empty all summer
... I'm KD
I swear that men would be more efficient if they had a semen gauge on their penises
You taught me that having a dip while u shit is awesome. I appreciate u for that
I was told my cock was a religious experience.
Well then sir I'll probably see you tomorrow after my class and at 3 with your clothes off. Sounds like a solid way to start the weekend to me
Some days you just pee in a stairwell and go home.
I most definitely just found a video on my phone that I accidentally took... You can't see anything and all you can hear is me talking about how good your water was... And then I fed it to you... And used the word "eloquent" to describe it.
I just sneaky put a tampon in on the bus ninja-style.
......how on earth do you do that?
NINJAAAA
Just passed the animal clinic parking lot I had to pull over to puke in during welcome week. I can almost hear the dogs barking at my shame again.
Imagine the quality of nudes you could send with a selfie stick
Every time I start to trust vodka, it does this to me.
how do you politely tell someone their toddler looks alarmingly similar to the berries and cream guy
oh you can't commit, don't have any real ambitions, and love to drink PBR? well.... sign me up!
Omg. I meet up with you guys with bodily fluids on my chin ONE time and suddenly I'm a whore.
woke up hungover this morning lying in a water raft covered in water.. i dont know if i should consider this good or bad
Randomize
