i was trying to find the best way to say come over and have sex, without saying it.
Bad news is he broke up with me via text message
But the good news is I've returned as mayor of whoreville
Just wanted to remind you that you literally cut the underwear off a man.
you just kept saying 'take out my tanks' and tell the cab driver to go slower, i have no idea what you were talking about but i'm glad you had fun.
IM PICKING UP BLOW FOR US STOP WHINING ABOUT SEX
im so hung over everytime my dog barks the sound vibration makes my whole body hurt
My dick pics could make it to the popular page on Instagram.
Okay so.. What's with me and guys who have more than 2 nipples
I don't know anybody that can get the cops to drive them back to the bar after being pulled out of a tree
it happenes
It’s like a buffet of marriages! Every option is available to you!
I have four things I would like to do over summer too... Problem is they're all roommates
i woke up this morning with a fake eyeball in my pocket
we decided to take the jello everclear shot at the party...didnt think it tasted any different....o dear god...the regret..
What did you give up for lent?
Diet and excersize. And I'm never going back...
My roommate just angrily told the cat he should have knocked, but that's not lockdown madness. They're always like that.
Randomize
