my 12 year old sister just told me how admirable it was that i felt comfortable going out with my friends dressed "like that"
You said you didn't deserve to walk so you started crawling down to your room
Found her laying down in a booth in iHop. She's a keeper.
i don't even want to say how many boners i've caused this week
my mom told me that she didn't count me in the census because im a waste of life anyway.
it was all good until he screamed "for fraaannnceee" on his last thrust
I actively tried geting in the guy's pants and ended up in the girl's. I'm bad at this whole straight while drunk thing.
The only times girls talk to me at clubs is when they're asking if I'm okay when I'm puking outside. Or if it's a tranny
he has to serve us drink and appetizers in his french maid costume for the Pirates game tonight. Bring everyone.
I had 2 shots but she spilt one on me. Kinda mad but kinda grateful
I've officially slept with/dated two guys that have gotten tased. What the fuck is wrong with me
It's almost like he's actually taking my commentary and criticism to heart, but simultaneously succumbing to some primal urge to wear less clothing each time.
I basically go to him for great dick and great memes.
You left your pants here again. 4th time in a row. How can you walk home without pants?
shes rolling around in the floor yelling my vagina hates me
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