it was nice. we just kind of hung out. she didnt even mention the farting incident.
I can't watch pbs sober anymore
i told her that she could bring as many friends as she wanted and then she asked how many people i could fit in my bed...BEST. DAY. EVERRRR.
i feel like my life has become an afroman song and idk whether i should be sad about that or not
Weird shit dude, I just realized that the girl I fucked last night looks like Shaun White's twin sister. I dunno if I should be scared or turned on
I hope her Double McTwist was as good as his
Ive decided I'm sending thank you notes to all the bars for graduation.
I swallowed for you. Answer the phone.
I thought that u needed a break due the fact that your nipples were bleeding
and ive been naked for the greater part of the evening. alone, drunk, and naked. i think that is how all great interventions start.
I mean, it was a fun hookup and he's cute and whatnot, but he wouldn't go down on me. Plus he's a republican. Idk why but those things feel like they go hand in hand.
I'm taking the day off so I can get drunk at Whole Foods before noon
I haven't answered because I haven't figured out a polite way of saying fuck no
I just told 2 of my vibrators "I love you." I seriously need some dick.
Did u guys seriously make a betting pool on when im going to get pregnant???
Yep, wanna bid?
so i just met a former male stripper who has a lion king tattoo. new BFF? i think yes
Randomize
