if my vagina gave out awards, he should be preparing acceptance speaches for the oscar, the heisman and the nobel peace prize.
Your brother just informed me that half a mouthful is a unit of measurement. I love talking to members of your family.
NBC reported that a group almost has enough signatures to submit pole dancing as an Olympic sport in 2016...
God I fucking love America.
We're doing a case race on Saturday.
I'm in. I'm currently drinking a beer in the bathtub so I guess I can consider this "practice" and not just "alcoholism"
he said that weed should be legal but that particular bong shouldn't be. i stared at a clock for an hour and a half after i ripped. so logically, i completely agree.
We got a Christmas tree, decorated it to surprise his wife And kids who were out of town for her father's funeral, then fucked like rabbits on their new mattress before he had to pick them up at the airport.
you better not pull some "waking up at 2 in the afternoon" shit, we have weed to smoke.
This is a great bar, except you can't even randomly burst into song without them assuming you're drunk and cutting you off.
only thing in my fruit bowl is 4 champagne corks and a jenga piece . Tuesday.
RE-DICK-YOU-LUSSSSS
That's me emphasizing the ridiculous
fyi, pepper spray hurts. whoever comes up with the best backstory wins a prize.
I was so drunk last night dude. I woke up this morning to my oven being wide open and my pants on the kitchen floor.
We could never date. He doesn't drink and he won't bring me tacos after sex. He's on that healthy life bullshit.
Like Napoleon Dynamite?
Exactly like Napoleon Dynamite
But with bacon.
27 year olds can still do oral in a car right? Or is that trashy?
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