I'm on that like soy sauce on rice
can we please move this conversation out of my vagina?
Her vagina was like a man-sized safe.
Ok I might come if this chair quits being so great...I'm also seeing this bush in the corner turn into a witch
I can't believe you're trying to guilt me into a blow j because a tornado made you homeless.
Is it working?
We were eating hotdog buns dipped in French onion dip in lawn chairs at 4am. That drunk
Of course it was necessary for me to call the strip club and ask what their shower policy is. Smelled like she was wiping her ass with my eyebrows during that dollar dance.
Somehow ed fucked carrie while purposely not saying a single word to her all night. He just nodded and smiled.
Would it have been easier if he talked to her?
Yeah, but i bet him he couldn't do it. Now he gets a free taco bell combo of his choosing.
My younger brother just got high fives from all my guy cousins for fucking my best friend. I hate family gatherings.
Watching the Walking Dead, snuggled up naked, and drinking a beer. No better way.
If ever there was a tweet to describe your life, it's this.
Her weave came out on the dance floor. She was twerking and shaking one minute and her hair flew across the dance floor the next. Great way to be introduced to the family
Babe, Have you see my pants?
Try Jay street in Brooklyn.. that's where I last remember seeing them.
Also I just had a pointless meeting and the only thing I accomplished were my kegals
He set the tone in the back of his car by blasting Marvin Gaye's sexual healing before railing me
Honestly, you can’t tell the whole sorority he has a donkey dick and expect that no one would sleep with him after you broke up
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