Have you not heard of Jennifer's supreme lust for William Shatner? She wants to eat Taco Bell off of his love handles
So...AT&T finally added picture messaging for iPhone...bring on the tits!!!
I'm sitting in my bathroom sink, eating a tuna sandwich. He had better weed than I expected.
he has decreed that i can sleep with anyone who has the same name as him. line up all the toms
Couple of things: my nipples are blue and knowing that at some point I'm going to have to poop is incredibly terrifying
That's like.....u just dangled a sex carrot in front of me then took it away!
It is not if she takes a guy home Karaoke night. It is how many.
I can feel my teeth in 4 dimensions. I shouldnt be this high at 8 in the morning.
So I have to masturbate in a hospital. I wonder what kind of porn they have.
Man, you got so high you own goaled yourself in FIFA then got up celebrating.
Yeah, I got home from work at like 9:30, and he was passed out on the couch wearing only a tee shirt and The Jurassic Park theme on repeat.
I don't think tits should taste like fish.
He started praying immediately after we hooked up, condom on and everything.
I think I was judged by a squirrel this morning during the walk...
Trying to figure out these fractions. I bought 5 fifths of gin last week. Does that mean I have one whole gin? 5/5 = 1, right? You're having to homeschool your kids right now--so ask them.
Randomize
