idk hes just been lookin at me weird all night
he probably just wants to cut your skin off and wear you like a body suit
remember when she hit me with her car by accident, well apparently it wasn't an accident.
You hooked up with 4 random girls, avoided your grilfriend finding out about it, and dodged traffic on Park Ave. Can you say luck of the Irish?
Good ideas don't start with we have a bottle of vodka..
I was so high that i was talking shit about a girl I was with via text, and I handed the phone to her so she could type the shit I was trying to say.
I need someone to get my backpack from the bar before class tomorrow. I have to give my students their papers back.
dude. you ripped the mardi gras beads off the girls neck and yelled she didnt deserve them..
we made it to hole 3 and then just sat down on the fairway and finished off our case....cheered on other golfers as we let them play through.
I just threw up over a bridge. I didn't even know there was a bridge in this town. Vodka is like a transportation device.
Highlight of the night was you walking into the men's room yelling "My husband is diabetic" and crawling under the stall to yell at me.
I can't ever look his wife in the eye again. She will see right through my soul to his dick pic.
Woke up in a cemetery. Puked in front a funeral ceremony that was going on.
You know it was a good dinner party when one of the guests broke their finger and no one can remember how it happened.
Are you ok? Who pooped in my office?
She played the piano. I played the piano. She got on top of the piano. I got on top of her.
Randomize
