Only at my house do scrabble games turn into fist fights. I won though... the fight not the board game.
Men with bald spots should not have mohawks. Just in case you didn't know.
I'm drinking Dom Perignon from the bottle with a straw just to piss of some french dude.
First of all...stop making excuses. Second of all...Fuck the surgeon generals warning
Found: medium sized pair of mens pants tucked inside my purse w/ a dry cleaners coupon in left pocket. Call if you wish to claim the coupon
Yea you just drank all the Hookah water, then started talking gibberish about the Kool Aid you just drank.
I had her number in my wallet, I was sitting on a winning ticket for the blowjob lottery and didn't know
At front desk. Got a beer drinking pigeon.
Sunday Funday has been cancelled indefinitely, due to lack of self control of all parties involved.
Oh my fucking god I saw the pictures. What the mother fucking fuck. Destroy the pictures. Destroy the fucking pictures.
Please confirm the destruction of the pictures. NOW.
I'm sorry that I didn't get belligerently drunk and did not put my penis on your neck again
Dude, im sorry I had sex with that girl I was trying to hook you up with last night. Good news though she puts out
Just busted the chick who slept with my boyfriend with alcohol. God I love being an RA.
he literally walked in took a shit and left ringing the 'great service' bell on the way out.
he told me he wanted me to go see his cat. apparently i was more interested in playing with his cat then having sex.
Randomize
