Was just hit on by a guy with 2 kids and one was named Rocky. I need to get out of Buena Park.
Like if Robert Downey Jr. and Kiefer Sutherland got together for a bender, that's how drunk I want us to be.
I'm spooning a three legged dog right now. Started drinking whiskey with Breakfast. Best part about being biracial is Irish cousins. Dog Pic Attahed
found a half eaten roll befind my toilet today. my birthday just keeps popping up.
I think I'm getting too used to throwing up in the reception trash can. It doesn't even phase me anymore
we knew we'd be okay when we walked up to the dealers house and he asked us to please be quiet as to not wake his nana.
You know when you can feel the alcohol in your toes? That's a great feeling.
he's gonorrhea incarnate
He walked into the pizza shop... Pulled the fire alarm.. And proceeded to dance to it...
My brother just text me asking if I was ready for the blowjob of my life.
This isn't good. I can't find my mom. This is why we don't give her Fireball.
It's my birthday, dammit, and I'm getting something for free. I don't care if it's just a drink at the bar.
YOU CAN GET THIS DICK FOR FREE
Hey, I'm 22. I'm allowed to have a sex life and you're going to hear about it.
I should have known when she said it would be "fun" we'd end up in the hospital
she's my really slutty friend i bring around so i can act slutty and not feel as bad about it
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