Apparently I farted on her in my sleep. Then, just to be sure she was cool, I did it again on purpose and she didnt say anything. So, WIN?
So J keeps drinking his last bit of drink, then spitting it out and drinks it again. Savor the flavor?
i am pregamming alone in my car. scale of 1-10 how alcoholic is that
im pretty sure thats an 11
white trash bash was a total success...cops shut it down twice and her hair stayed in rollers all night..she never broke character
It's sad that the best source of heat that I have is my vaporizer.
im destined to be single forever. i hope its okay if your kids come and hang out with my cats.
I just saw him carrying his little sister while walking his puppy. And he was shirtless. I swear my ovaries just exploded
That's the first time I've ever heard something that tickled both my gag reflex and my penis simultaneously.
he threw up in a solo cup, then washed it out and used it to play flip cup. Im not sure if thats resourceful or disgusting.
Just saw a couple do like 5 Sakai bombs and my dad goes "who says love is dead"
Two of the boys I banged while living in that house are about to move into it hahhaaha
I have 3 vacation days left and I'm guarding them like a gay dragon on a pile of gold dildos molded after celebrities.
Smaug the FABULOUS
Last night was a sign that I need to stop sleeping with any girl that can quote the mighty ducks
Specially the ones that look like Goldberg
It's 7am. I'm sitting on the curb in last nights clothes with a nose bleed and no idea how to get home. Low moment I feel.
She shit herself again. We're calling her the "Queen of Sharts".
Randomize
