the last 2 times weve had drunk sex ive had to get the morning after pill.. he's turning into a real expensive fuck buddy.
it's circumsized.
I think this conversation is over.
I can't even teach it... It's just natural slutyness.. My mom has it too
I almost punched the night nurse in her face. I woke up and she was standing over me.
you dragged me by my throat over to the shots. this is a new level of alcoholism..
She danced with a broom while telling me I was "cool as shit" and she "wishes she could take a portion of my big ass and attach it to hers" then she passed out
You always have that cute deer in the headlights look. Thats what made showing you my penis for the first time so disconcerting.
I really think that guy just walks around with tennis balls in his pocket. No dick is that big
I'll just be sleeping in this laundry room. Come get me at bar close.
after the fucking you spent twenty minutes vomiting naked and shaking your dick at my roommates. luckily, i don't remember that, or i'd have to be really insulted.
Told the cab driver to take me to narnia last night. Turns out there's a bar called narnia on the south side of town. We are in business
NEW HOUSE RULE! If you make it in a chicks cleavage it's 3 cups and bra off.
BP at your house from now on.
He called me khaleesi while I rode his dick. He wins
I have alotted at least an hour for ugly crying.
Last night a drunk chick tried to lick me. If you are trying to lick the zombies, you are too drunk for the haunted house.
Randomize
