I told her at least we still had each other. That's when she started crying.
he wanted to have me eat skittles off of his body. he mad gay sex even gayer.
everytime she opens her mouth i wish that i was deaf
I will never in my life forget you letting the cat lick your tongue
We took it as we must go to waffle house or else we will upset the gods.
Hey guy that stepped on my foot, don't slap my ass to apologize.
Nothing like the soothing screaming of your neighbor getting boned while eating a pizza on the front porch.
Why is there puke in my guitar?
Because you puked in your guitar.
It's no shave November. This is our time.
So my mom wants to hear about my weekend. How do I make licking cupcake frosting off your face while high not sound like just that?
I could have sworn that I went home last night... but judging from the couch I just woke up on, apparently not.
I swam, I rode a bicycle, I rode a horse, I danced. It was like a real life tampon advert.
so I just realized.. of my 70k student loan debt, most of it went toward bar tabs, eightballs, and sweet-ass ties to wear to gamedays and other people's weddings. I think about shit like this while I'm at my mid-level management position. you know. "working."
Look upon your future, America, and despair.
So she was amazing, that's what. Idk if it was the blow or the blowjob, but both my heads are still tingling.
The thing about online classes is the prof can't tell this mug is full of beer.
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