Just did a line with a monopoly bill. Tell me I'm not fancy.
sitting in room practicing taking shots. has my life come to this?
even if everyone didnt know them screaming eskimo brothers and high fiveing over my head kinda gave it away
I've spent the last ten minutes rubbing glue sticks on the wall
There was a picture of him proposing on the night stand and their dog watched, but I can't help myself, his dick is just so perfect.
I just figured out, there are 9 children in this world that I can look at in the face and say "I fucked your mom."
I just helped a group of highschool stoners find a safe place to smoke I feel like a responsible rolemodel
Quote of the night award goes to my father "I like wearing my swim trunks around the house because they are cooler and more blousy for my balls". Yay dad
We have a vagina exchange agreement. Neither of us can hook up with any of our own law firm's summer associates. So we have a scout and referral program and invite each other to the other firm's summer events. Criss-cross!! Works every summer.
QUIT RUINING DICK PICTURE DAY
And that was the night we had mind-blowing sex with the score from Raiders of the Lost Ark blaring on vinyl in the background...
My boyfriend told me that I said I wanted to "feast on her vagina"... Glad I don't remember.
We're gonna start a pole dancing competition or a bar fight. Stand by for results.
you do realize the next step is naked mud wrestling, right?
Yeah. Broke it off. Saw her cheating after she forgot to turn her zoom off. Ring=$$$. Not making that mistake-priceless
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