is 1am too late, or too early to make bacon?
He shouted my World of Warcraft name while we were having sex, and he was sober.
Got 6 blowjobs in one weekend... new personal best.
I can't tell if your life is amazing or needs reevaluation when "did I get hit with a nightstick" is a legitimate question.
booty call birthday vouchers, best idea ever. it's like giving a present to myself for someone else's birthday.
Lets go see if some hobos will give us a prostate massage for a 40 ounce.
My bathing suit kept falling whenever I went under a wave and this kid caught on and kept checking them out so I told him nothing comes free $5 a boob
I think he's hit rock bottom. You know it's a low point in life when you cry because you weren't invited to sit in a box car and watch porn with two other straight dudes.
Well I was thinking of taking him out for drinks then lecturing him about his drinking... kind of like an open minded intervention
Sounds good. Look at us. Planning sex like proper adults.
I'm naked in a forest ranger station right now
I have a vagina. So i automatically win.
The coast is clear - also, would it bother you if I chose not to wear pants?
Have I told you i love you?
there's no need we are two peas in a naughty pod of fuckery
THERE IS JIZZ ON MY CEILING. HOW THE FUCK IS THERE JIZZ ON MY CEILING
Randomize
