We drank from noon till 5 am, there was adderall and nice jews involved it was just crazy
maybe all of them together would equal one normal sized dick.
why do the even put the "Please drink responsibly" on tequila ads? like has anything responsible ever come from tequlia. No. never.
i want the original willy wonka imagination song to come on when i take a girl to my room
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just had a stripper snatch my glasses off my face with her ass
I'm not an expert but calling her the "hot lesbian" isn't going to coerce her into a 3some with you
Just heard the words 'Pussy Riot' on NPR...I almost crashed my car.
Idk. It's not appealing to me. Like don't get me wrong, I love ur dick A LOT but I don't want to stare at it on an iPhone screen
I'm a professor! I can't be caught chasing the liquor with you hooligans once the undergrads have seen my face
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i need to start buying Plan B in bulk and leaving them at the door. I'm really sick of walking to CVS with my one-nighters
Dude, I just hit your nipple with a bottle of lube while you were wearing a shirt, 10 feet away without my glasses and I only have "not bad" aim?
I just want my paycheck, and my friends. And alcohol and tacos. Is that so much to ask?
Such a big mess for such a small penis
I just used a bag of jelly beans as an arm weight...I'm not sure what to think of myself
Slowly dying because of my period and my phone is mocking me because I have 69% battery
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