Coming down off exstacy at a church event. Resisting the urge to dance to the church hymns.
As long as you don't die I'm in full support of your drinking decisions
dude uncooked spaghetti noodles dipped in thousand island dressing is better than it sounds
Idk, it's Grover wearing a sombrero. Do I need a reason?
Our drug dealer just got busted, wear black tmrw
I really don't think you should have 'baptized' your tattoo in vodka the same night you got it.
I was just tagged in a picture with a bunch of people i don't know in a house i don't recognize wearing a purple cowboy hat and a boa...i hate tequila
I just want to make mistakes. Like stds that go away with antibiotics mistakes.
Just woke up and my doorbell is on my nightstand... the fuck?
The dog just shocked himself by peeing on Christmas lights, should I have saw that coming?
I would've fucked Winston Churchill - rode that D like I was going into battle.
Got kicked out of the club and woke up at a frat house. Good night? Couldn't tell you. I got a date out of it I'm glad someone thinks my drinking problem is cute.
The FEDEX guy just cock blocked me by getting his van stuck in my driveway
ya well i woke up to my roommate spraying me with windex...
My parents left me the house for the weekend...you know what that means?!
Harry Potter marathon and no pants.
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