therell be strippers and coke right?
no strippers. just coke.
i hate this fuckin recession
You know your life is awesome when sometimes you walk down the street eating a sandwich and you run into someone you had a threesome with. And not say hi.
I dont even clean my room anymore .. i drunk proof it for when i come back smashed with a guy
She had a maple leaf tattoo behind her ear and told me she liked my "playoff beard".
Only in Canada would your laziness be applied to hockey and rewarded.
At one point I thought we were going to have to fuck our way out of their apartment
Apparently he proposed after he saw me chug vodka out of a traffic cone.
Its like a match made in avoid-eachother-because-we're-antisocial-and-awkward heaven
I felt like a personal hot pocket and all I could taste was cigarettes.
Yeah to go race car driving with a 54 yr old gastroenterologist. I really wish you'd come to have that drink with me Wednesday
I remember us getting kicked out of the bar, but neither of us know why. We woke up next to chicken bones on a plate with spoons, and my car has mud all over it including places where feet shouldn't be, like the speakers on the car door.
Well I mean he still had sex with me after I told him that I play fetch with the kids I take care of, so I'm not really looking too far ahead with him...
Holy shit, did you actually CHOOSE to get hit by the alcohol truck last night?
Sex to movie scores is my best choice of the year. You've had an orgasm but have you had an orgasm with an entire orchestra.
So her ex boyfriend came up a lot in conversation while I was fucking her. Is that weird?
Who the fuck has a conversation during sex?
You let the ASEXUAL teach sex Ed?!
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