Let's just say there is a bloody hand print above my bed and it's not mine. Literally.
I don't wanna do a drive in or see a movie tonight. I wanna play some Golden Tee and butt fuck a girl in the bathroom of some bar and proceed with Golden Tee
maybe after you take off her top her face will be hotter
It is virtually impossible to listen to single ladies and perform any seated task.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
New game: find the sober person in Tbell
i had the all of mcdonalds chanting USA as he motorboated you
I wish pancakes were everywhere. Just pancakes. I want lilies at my wedding. No dress. Just priest. Just lilies.
If you're receiving this text it's probably because I drunkenly flashed you on Saturday. Sorry for forcing you to look at my tits. That was uncalled for.
I beer bonged before it even hit 4 o' clock. Please get on my level homecoming style.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yeah no problem. What are blow job angels for anyways
We were supposed to hurry because the restaurant closed at 9. I ended up giving him a blow job so we had to eat at Arby's instead.
I just swallowed confetti and motor-boated some guys beard...#happy2015
Thinking about licking your asshole. And hugs and stuff too I guess.
I ended up snorting coke while wearing a Bavarian dress and I feel like I need to reevaluate my life
There is a sex dungeon behind the wine cellar. This is why I hate showing foreclosures.
Randomize