He said i was a degenerate twofaced catholic slut and a grade a bitch. Quite complimentary really. i guess i shouldn't insult the red wings
I just want to let you know it was a unanimous decision that we would eat you first if we ever turned into cannibals, we figured with all the bacon you eat you may taste like it. It's a chance we are willing to take with your life...don't forget that we love you
In anticipation of No Judgement Tuesday, I believe a Can We LOL At What We Did Last Night Saturday is in order
Please do not make a facebook page for my hickeys.
I just wanted to warn you I have strep throat incase I gave it to that guy we both hooked up with on New Years.
Walking out of the bathroom and not knowing you have hand soap on the front of your pants so it looks like you blew a load on yourself really sets the tone for the rest of the week...
There is not enough soap in the world to make me feel clean after last night. Im gonna need jesus for this one
This chick had a condom box organized by size with dividers that glowed in the dark.
Tuesday Boozeday turned into What-the-fuck-were-you-thinking Wednesday real fast.
My google history for last night included "Whre is johns house" and "wher can i buy nukes?" Pretty sure they're related to one another.
I'm actually more excited that I had so much sex this weekend that my ovaries hurt
welp,tonight ive reached new levels. by new levels I mean,i showed some guys my boobs for water. on your tab.. the most pointless thing ive ever done. either we should hang out way more,or never again.
So what your saying is you dont remember trying to hit a golf ball off my chest with a 9 iron?
I told him I hooked up with his best friend. And then he ate me out. I'm just THAT GOOD.
because nothing says “let’s fucking rage” like getting a compensation letter and some company stock
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