saturday- my day is open, my legs are not. you in?
well apparently not.
This could be one of the worst things i've done... The background of her phone is her and her boyfriend.
I'm eating mac and cheese for dinner that way when I puke later it'll be festive halloween orange.
I gave myself a pep talk in the library bathroom mirror. and then threw up in the sink.
i may have given a gay guy with a mohawk my number last night that said... "you are straight" omg so glad a whole year til my next birthday... also i hit myself in the face with a car door. nice.
We just weren't working out together, on a completely unrelated note some guy that i talked to on his grinder account said i could crash at his place
I envy your ninja level of don't give a fuck
No dude, he just dipped his cigarette info ranch dressing and lit it. He's said he normally doesn't do that but it's Memorial Day.
Nevermind, there are three drinks waiting at the bar for me. I cannot disappoint this alcohol.
for me, it's working out the tricky timing of the Viagra and nightly laxative.
Just fat and dog and sweat all over the bed. All night long.
I know I come to this conclusion on a fairly regular basis but I really do need a babysitter
I have shit my pants twice this week. #adulthood
There's no button for "gave my boyfriend's cock to a friend" on my intimacy calendar.
I think I was just motorboated by a 4-year old girl.
I’ve seen not one, but three Facebook articles on my feed today about “how to eat ass”. Idk what the universe is trying to tell me but it’s needs to chill
Randomize
