You know your creepy when you look at recently tagged facebook photos of girls you want to hook up with and they include prom pictures
I'm proud of our boobs and what they could potentially achieve in life.
You convinced us both to take shots of jack Daniels through our eyes.
He came out in cowboy boots and underpants holding a beer while he hugged my mom. I love Montana.
He just showed me a video of his erect penis moving to the beet of the music when he was high, I think I'm in love.
It was weird, because he kept shaking his head like he was motorboating me...but on my vagina.
I forgot to pack a bra for work today...you would not believe the extremes i've had to go through in order to keep these nips from my coworkers
WELP I KNOW THE HAPPY HOUR DRINKS WERE GOOD BECAUSE MOM JUST INFORMED ME I AM THE RESULT OF POKED HOLE IN THE DIAPHRAGM
Well, i'm not hugging a bag of cheetos and crying while I watch Friends wishing that we were Ross and Rachel. So clearly I'might doing better than last night.
i am craving dick and cupcakes
I wanted to write an apology letter to my vagina after that.
I hate to be the bearer of bad news, but yours is no longer the biggest penis I've seen. It is however, still the prettiest.
We're so high we're eating flavored lube.
Leave it to my mom and I to turn the hearing into a drinking game.
I just bought a bottle of dried bees on Etsy. I am the wrong person to talk you out of this.
Randomize
