i just walked outside for a cigarette and three men walked by in glitter heels and gold shiny thongs. god i love chicago
Last night my friend tried to make out with me in an olive garden. Ahahah
Nothing says 'I love you' like never ending salad and breadsticks
She's not depressed. She's just sober. It's like the same thing.
No jewlry, no bra, and no pen. I couldnt be more prepared for a friday morning class.
He told everyone he was going inside...an hour later we get a knock on the garage door from some dude telling us a guy is passed out on the lawn and we should get him inside because it's about to rain
Just watched a drug bust from the Ralphs parking lot while listening to Frank Sinatra. Happy Valentine's Day.
just watched my roommates get stoned and jury rig a pulley system to pass the bowl back and forth across the room.
He's used the term "balls deep" 3 times in the first hour. Thanks a lot, Plenty of Fish.
Is tonight a drink a little and reminisce kinda night, or a drink everything and pray kinda night?
I had to smuggle a street sign attached to a 14ft long pole out of my house this morning. The list of reasons for me not to drink just keeps getting longer.
Dude what the fuck...
Some days you just pee in a stairwell and go home.
If you were more comfortable around gay men, then you too could get wasted at the gay dance club and go home with hot girls.
No judgement. Sometimes you gotta twerk on a legends face.
I'm excited for you as you venture towards new drug experiences
I'm sorry I missed your birthday brunch. If it makes you feel any better I woke up wearing someone else's toga and a sombrero
Randomize
