handjob tips. give me some.
Where's the Hot Mess Express headed tonight?
I hope that's not the new nickname for my friends and me.
getting your period on valentines day is like an extra little fuck you, now you REALLY have no chance of sex tonight.
reason #14 for loving my boobs...just got out of a 40mph over the limit speeding ticket thru a work zone. i dont think the cop knew i even had a face
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You asked me to be the big spoon, when you passed out on the stairs
i just realized that im half way to my goal of puking in every single toilet on our floor
they bet me shots that I couldn't give people piggyback rides around the club just cause I'm 125lbs and a girl...I had a line forming after the third guy.
she said i was like a little lamb and she felt bad for luring me into her den of sin. then she blew me.
Being a virgin isn't supposed to be this easy for you.
New carpet is nice. I'm making carpet angels. Like a fresh snowfall.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You had two tasks: \n1) put on a condom \n2) text me so I don't walk in on you \nIt really isn't that hard
side note: on a scale of 1-10, how bad an idea is it to hook up with 9 cats guy?
I repeat do not go to a jail visit drunk, those stools are easy to fall off.
I saw a picture of a baby and it reminded me to take my birth control. Priorities
He said he loved me more than Kel loves orange soda
the result of growing up in the '90's
I have just received a gold-medal-deserving sext. He wrote me a fucking novel. Not only am I incredibly turned on but I am beyond impressed. He is the sext god. I must bow to him.
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