how was that guy you hooked up with?
i used to think blowing a .05 was a good thing
How'd it feel making her break her religion?
It only happened twice. Once we used extra virgin olive oil and once I used saliva and brute force.
you're dressed like that and you're on the rag, that's false advertisment
i can't believe he got me to come over to him by waving a natty light at me.
I feel like a blind man at a water park. Every step has the potential to be either fatal or lead to accidental, but totally enjoyable, sex.
I need to pack up my vagina and leave. We only do bad things together.
my mom called me mid shot and i accidentally answered and kept calling her my own name. somehow i thought that would help the situation.
Sorry I got completely naked in your bed, but I feel our friendship has grown because of it.
I knew full well that at some point during the night my penis would be out with this costume choice
i just drunk stumbled into my home... to figure out that we moved 2 weeks ago..
I am attempting to break the habit of calling him daddy.
Remind me to tell you about how I hit a tree with my car last night.
I'll be glad to.
We told the cop that we were playing soccer, in flip flops, and 2:30 in the morning. It was raining and i had board shorts on. He bought it, lets go get drunk
Sitting across the table from one of my high school teachers who hasn't seen me since I was about 16 drinking a beer wearing a leotard
Randomize
